Flowers in Her Hair

When our granddaughters came to stay in June, the daisies were blooming and I had the romantic idea of them making daisy crowns while sitting out in the trees on a blanket and then having so much fun playing around with them as princesses, queens, fairies or as just flowers in their hair!  

Also, there would beautiful photos of them having this magical time. 

The reality was the youngest got bit by a mosquito by her eye the first day and it swelled up like she'd been in a huge knock out drag down fight with her sister.  Sooooo I limited her time outside and of course used bug spray.  

Flower crowns my be a romantic notion for children, but braiding them to actually hold is a far greater skill than one would think.  So while my girls entertained my granddaughters, I braided the crowns and it took a bit of time! 

The part that I got right was that they loved playing with them!  The crafting of them out in the grass and the beautiful romantic photos that I dreamed of were so far from reality!  I posted about this on Instagram and I'm still shaking my head at myself.

(Look at that dirty face!!)

I had to work hard to get these photos decent that's why the edits are all different, ha!!  I had no time to even think about my camera and settings.

So: lesson learned:  That even at my age and state in life I can still be unrealistic.  However, I recognized it in about 10 minutes in and adapted!  Or maybe I should say "accepted" the situation as it was.  The goal was to have fun and that part was a success.  There is a dried daisy crown in the laundry room as a memento. :)

Sari Ribbon Garland

For my birthday this past winter, my husband gifted me a subscription to Taproot Magazine.  Are you familiar with it?  It was new to me last year.  When I discovered it, I ordered one copy and made this forager vest from the Grain issue. It's a really beautifully put together publication with no advertising, I'd highly recommend it.

The most recent issue is called RELISH and in it was a simple project to  decorate silk ribbon. 

I used vintage buttons and scraps of fabric and fibers to embellish about a yard of vintage sari ribbon.  Lots of fun to make!

Little bits of the past tied on to one another::make a beautiful gathering of bits. ♥

It Was Just a Used Notebook

It was just a used notebook, but it was poignant in it's message.

I took these photos five years ago.  Today, I discovered them again on my computer. 

When I discovered them in a file on my computer, I instantly remembered taking them and how much I was moved by this empty notebook.

It was from the drawer of drawing and old school supplies for the kids.

This used up empty notebook was just so full.

Full of all that was accomplished.  Full of showing potential realized.

Full of a reminder to me to use up all I'm given for God's glory. 

This notebook represents the practice of life.  The negative space speaks so much more volume than if you could see everything that had been written on the torn away pages.

So much beauty of life is in the doing and the using.  

A Short Film: February Birthdays

My son-in-law and I both have February birthdays and we celebrated them together a couple of weeks ago at their home.  My two youngest daughters baked and decorated our birthday cakes!  The night before, my co-leader of our 4-H club led a lesson in cake decorating, so it was perfect timing for the girls to practice.  My son-in-law and daughter have been learning German for years now as his Mother is from Germany so Audrey had the idea to write "Happy Birthday" in German on his cake.  Nora decided a mug of coffee would be good on my cake...so right!

I didn't have a tripod with to get a group picture, so I had a picture taken with my granddaughters and then had the oldest, who is almost seven take a picture of the rest of us. The youngest was hiding in the legs and then ran out and I didn't even know it until I looked at the pictures, made me laugh!

February Birthdays 2019 from Jill Ruskamp on Vimeo.

If you want to begin to make your own little films these are my resources:

For music: Soundstripe 

With this link, you can get 20% off the first payment with Soundstripe Standard

The Software: Cyberlink PowerDirector I bought it before it became a subscription plan.  I have been really happy with it.  Fairly easy to use for the number of features it has.

A Secret Garden Tea Party...Six Months Ago!

Last August we celebrated this little one turning 3!

She had a sweet Secret Garden Tea Party!

I didn't take a lot of pictures and then I never got back to edit them.  By the way...what is it about little cucumber sandwiches that is so good?!  So simple and well, I ate a lot of them!

I checked out a book on flower arranging from the library and that's what reminded me about these pictures.  Spur of the moment, I had put together a woodland themed centerpiece for the birthday party.

I had the wood slabs, the logs, and the bark pieces just waiting for a project.  Of course when it got dismantled, I saved them all for another project someday.

I gathered not only the greens and flowers, but teacups and teapots from my dishes and it all was just so fun to make.

I think cups as vases are great any time.

This vine came from a plant that just kept on giving this summer and I brought it in this winter so it's still available to cut from.  I'll move it back outside in the spring.

It was actually a challenge to cut small enough leaves and buds as I was used to cutting big ones for big vases.

The paper cups my daughter made to stack up were really cute!

My kids and cheese:  It just goes poof.  Gone.

Pretty fancy. :)  And good. :)

It was all really adorable.  

 My daughter really enjoys decorating...pretty sure the next parties are already planned. :)

::~::

I hear that snow may be coming again tomorrow so I guess I better bury into the seed catalogs!

My Birthday Story

 Today is my birthday. I was born in 1964.  I was the seventh child of my family.  Bud and Vandelyn.  The sixth baby they had was Betty Christine and she was born prematurely, dying after living one day at one pound.  The practice at that time was to not let the mother hold such a fragile newborn and she died and was taken back to be buried without my Mom ever getting to hold her.  That was a pain that my Mom shared with me when I was an adult.  She didn't share verbally or physically much for emotions so it's safe to say, this was a great sorrow.  She died two years ago and about 3 years ago,  I thought to ask her about when I was born.  "Were you afraid to have me after losing Betty?"  She thought for awhile, leaving our conversation for a moment to retrieve a piece of her life,  then said, "Yes, I suppose so.  We didn't go buy anything until after you were born and stopped at the store on the way home from the hospital to buy bottles and diapers."

My folks were able to come and visit Jim and I (and my brother and sister in law living in the same town) regularly at the end of my Dad's life.  From my younger years, I knew from some vague conversation that the last three of us kids weren't "planned".    On one of their visits my Dad said to me, "You may have been a mistake, but I'm sure glad we had you."  Keep in mind that my Dad was a farmer and a bus driver, not a poet.  While not articulate about feelings, in his older years, he could really show you love with his actions and face.  These words were poignant and heartfelt.

Fast forward about 8 years.  Jim is gone and life has been really really hard.  Randy comes into my life and we get married. Along comes Audrey, a "mistake" as my Dad would have not so eloquently put it. I'd prefer to say a surprise gift from God.  Then another surprise Gift and I was pregnant again.  Not yet knowing who the gift was. But God knew who He had given us. It was my birthday.  I was about 4 weeks pregnant and you could say a bit scared and worried.  42 years old with five other kids, one only 7 months old.

So. Thirteen years ago, it's my birthday.  And I'm worried and scared.  My husband greets me with a "Happy Birthday!", wraps his arms around me and says "Thank you God for the day this woman was born." with all the sincerity and love that a person can express.  Because of his words, I remembered my Dad saying, "You may have been a mistake but I'm sure glad we had you." There in that moment, I knew that my baby may have been a surprise, but I was sure glad I was having this baby.  I remember crying and telling my husband after his beautiful words that someday someone could be hugging our child in pure gratitude for the day they were born.

Of course now we know who God was knitting in my womb, our little Nora.  The youngest of six.  Just like me the youngest of my family.

Mom and Dad are both gone.  My oldest brother also deceased.  My next brother just turned 67. 

My oldest child is 29.  then 27. then 24. then 19. then 13. then 12.

My oldest granddaughter is 6. then 3. then 2.

The picture being painted is so much bigger.  So much bigger than the fear allows a person to see.

The reality is...the reality is, that the gift of life is... so stinking much bigger than the fear.

And, I thank God for the day I was born.

Moody Spring Buds

Yesterday, I was working outside and when I was coming in for a short break I thought I'll take a few minutes to clip some budding branches and see how they looked arranged.

This little arrangement is quite cheery in the dining room.

The days are finally getting a bit warmer here.

The more red buds here are from a small branch off of a Purpleleaf Sand Cherry Tree.  Last fall as I was pruning like a crazy woman, I accidentally pruned, from the bottom, one big pillar of the one of the small trees we have outside our lawn.  Oops.  I've saved said pruned branch, thinking that dried sand cherry wood could be pretty.  We'll see.

Each season is so special in it's own way. Spring, full of potential. I think the moody edit of these photos emphasize that.

It was fun to use my macro lens since it's been tucked away in my camera bag for awhile.

I hope you allow yourself to take a break too from your "gotta get done" list to enjoy what is before you.

A Short Break From Graduation Prep

We celebrated our oldest granddaughter's 6th birthday on Sunday.  I want to keep in practice so filmed just enough to put together a little film, but not too much that it would take me forever to sift through, because there "is stuff to get done"! I'm not much of a list maker any longer, but I foresee lists made in this next month.

It felt good to go back into this software and remember what I've learned so far. Mostly.  Had to "relearn" a little.  Just a few weeks away from a new skill and you can lose it.

RORY'S BIRTHDAY from Jill Ruskamp on Vimeo.

I'm also trying to remember what I've learned from watching our older home movies that I've mentioned on here before, to film the adults and the others who are present at whatever event I am taping. The whole room is part of the story.

The sun is shining here today!!

So....That Month Slipped Away!

It's been a full month with family things and such.  I've still been making videos, but they are too long to share here.  I still need to explore all the options for online sharing.  I made one for my daughter's graduation party and one from clips I took back in 2012 for my husband's family.  Now that we have all our old films in a digital format, I was able to combine video with photos for Claire's graduation.  THAT was so fun to make!  The other one that I was happy, but sad to do, was my father in law's last Christmas with us in 2012.  

I've also been busy "catching up" in our basement.  Hoping to make some better semblance of what I decide to keep while also hauling a lot out of here.  I'm getting there! Spring cleaning at it's best!

I ordered a Shutterfly book for my daughter with her pictures and I have invitations ready to go too.  I asked my son to come and look at the book before I ordered it to see if he would have any suggestions to tweak it...three hours later, we ordered it.  Tweak we did!  It's so nice to have a second set of eyes look at something some days.

I posted one Senior picture back in September, and never got back to posting more so here are a few.

She loves to read.  

Actually, she lives to read.

You may have guessed we went to the farm to take pictures also.

There are quite a few more in this series too.  ♥ silhouettes!

This captures her pretty perfectly. 

::~::

::~::

These last ones were taken back at our place.

I just love a moody photo.  And she does too.

Our pond as a backdrop.

She drives our old pick up which was Jim's which we bought in 1997.  ♥ So we took a few pictures with it too.

Now, with only a little over a week until Easter I'm trying not to let the busyness take over the beautiful reflective time of Lent that we can enjoy.

~have a great week~

Turning 54: A Film

While my son is on the job hunt, he found a video transfer device for me to buy so he could transfer all of our old VHS tapes, and 8mm tapes to a digital format.  He is done!  And I couldn't be happier to have this completed.  This is the one I bought and it seems to have worked well.

One thing I have noted as we watched bits and pieces of these tapes: I wish I would have recorded more of the places and the adults. (I mention that too in the last little film)  The adults shy away or we just put the camera on the toddler learning to walk.  And while yes, that is cute and I'm enjoying re-watching my kids learning to walk,  we all agree that we sure wish we could see more of the adults at the birthday parties and family gatherings.  I suppose it really just hits home because of losing Jim and now both of my parents.  I realize how much Jim didn't talk when the camera was on because no one likes to hear their own voices on tape. 

  Tape yourself.  Tape the other adults too.  Your kids you are taping will also love to see their aunts and uncles, grandparents, and of course parents when they were younger.

Here is a bit of an attempt.  But, I'm not talking on it yet. Ha!  Baby steps.

I didn't tape too much because the big problem with getting in front of the camera is that you aren't behind the camera, so it takes more planning and effort. 

Turning 54 from Jill Ruskamp on Vimeo.

Who doesn't love the drop and pick up game played with a one year old?!

Happy Monday!

A Little Known Fact

So I had another birthday....and I guess that always makes a person reminisce. And, go dig through old papers. This is kind of a fun trip down memory lane and something few would know about me.  

I played a horse in Equus in 1990!  It was in a community theater in Sioux Falls, SD, but none the less...I had a part!

Now, I announce this fact like you all know about the 1970s psychosexual play that won a Tony and had Daniel Radcliffe star in it in the 80s. 

And, maybe you do.  I do now, but truthfully, I had no idea what it was about when I went to audition for it.

No idea whatsoever.  

My first baby was about 6 months old and we had just moved to a new city, new state right before her birth.  I had started a new job and Jim had started his Family Practice residency all in the past 8 months.  Apparently, I thought that all wasn't enough adventure and decided to try to get a part in a play.  

I'm pretty sure it was actually just the opposite.  Life was too much and I needed an outlet.  

I came home from the auditions laughing and told my husband "Apparently there is normally a nude scene for the lead actor, but this director decided to do it clothed!"  I remember sitting there as the director announced all of this with my best poker face on.  Trying to be cool like the other kids, knowing all about famous plays and all.  When they asked me which role I'd be auditioning for, I mumbled something about being open to any of them???  Apparently you should know such a thing before going in for an audition.  Poker face again.  I believe I was good at that face.  That's called acting.  hahaha!!  When I got a call to be in the chorus which included being a horse, "a customer" with two lines!,  and a "theater goer", I was thrilled. 

My husband went to one performance and thought it was agonizing!  We had a tape of it somewhere and he joked that we would use it as a punishment for the kids to have to watch someday.

Trust me when I say he didn't insult me.  All the acting was actually quite good, that wasn't his complaint.  It was the drama of it. Not our cup of tea.

That's me!  Jill Martin then.

Page 2 of "that's me"!

From the newspaper then.  Look at the awesome horse heads that were constructed for us!  They were a great likeness of those used on Broadway.  

That's me on the left. :) 

Of course, when this has come up in conversation over the years...

Me: "I played a horse in Equus"  

Every other person: "Really, which end of it??"